{"id":162,"date":"2011-11-04T22:53:19","date_gmt":"2011-11-04T21:53:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/xn--bykadada-65ab.biz\/?p=162"},"modified":"2014-09-27T20:28:37","modified_gmt":"2014-09-27T19:28:37","slug":"hayat-dedigin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/xn--bykadada-65ab.biz\/?p=162","title":{"rendered":"Hayat dedi\u011fin bir Tiyatro sahnesi"},"content":{"rendered":"

S\u0131ras\u0131 gelirse rol\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc oynar\u0131z. Sufle gelmezse do\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131z. <\/strong>Ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z\u00a0 yer B\u00fcy\u00fck Adaysa yorucudur;\"\"<\/a> Tepek\u00f6yde Nevruz mevki soka\u011f\u0131nda oturmak, her defasinda yoku\u015fu inmek, \u00e7\u0131kmak kald\u0131r\u0131m ta\u015f\u0131 d\u00f6\u015feli yolda ko\u015fmak. Bisikletin olsada\u00a0 pek fayda etmez, \u0130nerken inersin bir \u015fekilde yoku\u015f a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 do\u011fru son s\u00fcrrat marka bisikletinle, d\u00f6nerken geriye bisikletin ilave bir y\u00fck olur nedense\u00a0 bedenine. Bu sebepten olmazsa olmaz\u0131d\u0131r\u00a0B\u00fcy\u00fckadan\u0131n ya Arabaya\u00a0 ya E\u015f\u015fek. Yazd\u0131klar\u0131m, ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131n yerini ald\u0131. \u0130nsan yazarken, yazd\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131 san\u0131yor, zihnimin derinliklerinde uyuyan gizli d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceler uyan\u0131yor, solmu\u015f duygular\u0131m canlan\u0131yor, uzakta kalm\u0131\u015f \u00e7ocuklu\u011fum, gen\u00e7lik an\u0131lar\u0131m yorgun y\u00fcre\u011fimi ac\u0131s\u0131yla, tatl\u0131s\u0131yla ok\u015fuyor, ruhumda zaman zaman olu\u015fan karamsar duygular unutuluyor, Birden bire her \u015fey g\u00fczel ve sevgiyle hat\u0131rlan\u0131yor, \u00e7irkinlikler \u00f6rt\u00fcl\u00fcyor.<\/p>\n

\u00d6yleyse, burun k\u0131v\u0131rmadan bu mutlulu\u011fun tad\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0131karmal\u0131y\u0131m. \u0130nsan bu kadar ya\u015fad\u0131ktan sonra, gelecek g\u00fcnlerden \u00e7ok az \u015fey umuyor, g\u00f6nl\u00fc avuntuya, yenili\u011fe muhta\u00e7.Yazd\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131 ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n g\u00f6z\u00fcyle okumak, onlar\u0131n sesinden dinlemek \u015fa\u015f\u0131rt\u0131c\u0131 ve g\u00fczel sanki bana ait de\u011filmi\u015f gibi geliyor. Bir resim beliriyor g\u00f6zlerimin \u00f6n\u00fcnde k\u0131r\u0131k bir aynaya bakar gibi,par\u00e7alanm\u0131\u015f g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyor g\u00f6nl\u00fcmde. Sanki a\u011fa yakalanm\u0131\u015f y\u0131llar,unutulmu\u015f an\u0131lar. Sonra bir lodos r\u00fczgar\u0131 eser ruhumda, silip s\u00fcp\u00fcr\u00fcr tozlar\u0131, netle\u015fir g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcler.\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Sevdam\u0131 hat\u0131rlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m’da can\u0131m\u0131 yakan unutmu\u015f gibi davranmam de\u011fil mi? hayat\u0131mdaki kal\u0131c\u0131 an\u0131lar\u0131 her zaman ge\u00e7ici sanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m, tekrar tekrar ya\u015famak i\u00e7in geriye d\u00f6nmedi’ki zaman\u0131m, \u015fimdi her \u015fey i\u00e7in ne kadar ge\u00e7 kald\u0131m. O an her zamankinden daha g\u00fczeldi. a\u00e7m\u0131\u015f kollar\u0131n\u0131 u\u00e7acak bir ku\u015f kadar narin; Sedefe bak\u0131yor, neyi bekliyor? G\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fc ile deniz aras\u0131na s\u0131k\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f g\u00fcne\u015fin \u0131\u015f\u0131klar\u0131, dalgalarla oyun oynuyor.<\/p>\n

Bizi anlatan \u015fark\u0131lar\u0131 beraber dinlerdik, yolumuzu sonsuzlu\u011fa do\u011fru \u00e7izecektik, s\u00f6z vermi\u015ftik. Kumsala serilmi\u015f ruhum, ayaklar\u0131ma \u00e7arpan dalgalar\u0131 hissediyor. Nas\u0131l bilebilirdim,buran\u0131n her \u015feyin ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve bitti\u011fi yer oldu\u011funu. Kim beni onun elinden ald\u0131, umurumda de\u011fil, a\u015f\u0131nd\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131m kald\u0131r\u0131mlar\u0131na bu Adan\u0131n ne s\u00f6yleyebilirim? ancak, huzursuz, ne\u015fesiz oturup bekleyebilirim. Tutkuyla kanatlanm\u0131\u015f, kalbimi \u00e7arpt\u0131ran, sonra bir kayaya \u00e7arpm\u0131\u015f gibi bu sevgi de\u011fil mi beni ya\u015famaktan al\u0131koyan?\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Art\u0131k g\u00f6zlerimin \u00f6n\u00fcnde beliren resimlerde bulan\u0131k, beni yaln\u0131z b\u0131rakmalar\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yl\u00fcyorum dinlemiyorlar. Belki de bir hayal, herkesin g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc ve ac\u0131 \u00e7ekti\u011fi. Her \u015fey biz insanlar i\u00e7in de\u011fil mi? Ben kendimle konu\u015fuyorum, sen ba\u015f\u0131n bana d\u00f6n\u00fck, elimde ellerin, y\u00fcz\u00fcnde mutlu bir ifade bak\u0131yorsun. \u0130nan\u0131r\u0131m i\u00e7inden ne d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fc merak ediyorsun, arada bir g\u00f6zlerini a\u00e7\u0131p d\u0131\u015far\u0131daki gecenin koyu mavili\u011finde, sanki i\u00e7imden ge\u00e7enleri anl\u0131yorsun. Elinden tutup, \u00e7ay\u0131rlarda \u00a0ko\u015fmak istiyorum seninle kelebekler gibi, \u00f6pmek, ok\u015famak, yemye\u015fil \u00e7imlere kar\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f papatya, gelincik \u00e7i\u00e7eklerinin \u00fczerinde. Sonra \u00a0Hiristosta bir a\u011fa\u00e7 g\u00f6lgesine s\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131p,g\u00fcnah i\u015flemek g\u00f6zlerinin i\u00e7inde. Hissettin galiba, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm bana arkan\u0131 d\u00f6n\u00fcyorsun. Biliyorum senin g\u00f6zlerinin \u00f6n\u00fcnde beliren resimlerde bulan\u0131k. Sard\u0131k\u00e7a bant\u0131 geriye, resimler daha da bulan\u0131k. Sahne hep ayn\u0131 sahne. Suflede gelmiyor art\u0131k oyuncular yorgun kaybolmu\u015f ezberlerde.<\/p>\n

Ben ge\u00e7mi\u015fimi ararken bende, seni buldum kendimde.<\/p>\n

Mehmet Tevfik \u00d6zkartal<\/p>\n

03.10.2011 N\u00fcrnberg<\/p>\n

\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

S\u0131ras\u0131 gelirse rol\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc oynar\u0131z. Sufle gelmezse do\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131z. Ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z\u00a0 yer B\u00fcy\u00fck Adaysa yorucudur; Tepek\u00f6yde Nevruz mevki soka\u011f\u0131nda oturmak, her defasinda yoku\u015fu inmek, \u00e7\u0131kmak kald\u0131r\u0131m ta\u015f\u0131 d\u00f6\u015feli yolda ko\u015fmak. Bisikletin olsada\u00a0 pek fayda etmez, \u0130nerken inersin bir \u015fekilde yoku\u015f a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 do\u011fru son … Okumaya devam et →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/xn--bykadada-65ab.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/162"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/xn--bykadada-65ab.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/xn--bykadada-65ab.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xn--bykadada-65ab.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xn--bykadada-65ab.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=162"}],"version-history":[{"count":28,"href":"https:\/\/xn--bykadada-65ab.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/162\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":165,"href":"https:\/\/xn--bykadada-65ab.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/162\/revisions\/165"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/xn--bykadada-65ab.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=162"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xn--bykadada-65ab.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=162"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xn--bykadada-65ab.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=162"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}